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Insomnia February 10, 2006

Posted by brianna in Verbosity.
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Ah, there’s a blank white box here, so I might as well type in it.

I seem to be doing most of my communicating these days through white boxes…sometimes with happy little pictures or annoying sounds and frequent disconnects added in as a special bonus. I’m not sure if my ‘white box addiction’ is a bad thing…or, possibly, even a good thing (I love how I did that backwards) though the general public asserts that soley communicating through text is not healthy.

Well.

Lately, white boxes have brought me more happiness than…well, anything else. I would be concerned (or, at least, verbosely justifying) if I didn’t have proof there was indeed a flesh and blood person at the other end…and if my cheeks didn’t hurt from smiling so much. Smiling is a wonderful thing, and my face just isn’t used to it these days…well, any days. My mother called me an ‘intense’ child, and people upon meeting me often think I’m angry even when I’m just…existing. Thinking. Concocting elaborate conversations in my head.

I worry, though. (This is a hobby. This worrying). Am I over-communicating? In the beginning of any sort of ‘white box relationship’ (and we’ve all had them), there is joy! Excitement! Extensive typing, long emails where I basically take out my brain, rub it all over the keyboard, and then apologise for going on so long and signing off. And then…there is the wondering. Are two emails a day too much? Am I burying him in piles of undigestable text? I realized the other day that I had sent /ten/ emails in four and a half days. Ten. And at least four were sizable…oh, dear. (Um. To one person. That might make things a bit clearer)

But I’m trying not to stamp out this joy I’ve found…this hopeful new license (Unbelievable. I can spell ‘concocting’ and have trouble with ‘license’) to really just say whatever’s in my head without censoring much. And to actually slowly begin to suspect that whatever I might have to say…will be read, digested, appreciated and replied to. How often does that happen, even in flesh to flesh relationships? Where most people these days seem to nod at the noises your mouth is making, just waiting for that blip of silence…for they have something Very Important To Say, too!

Fantastically, it’s almost impossible to interrupt someone when you only have little white boxes to go on.

I love little white boxes. Sign me up. =) And, perhaps, send me a plane ticket, too. I have things to communicate.

(Does this make as little sense to others as it does to me? Look at the post time, take into consideration)

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